The Sacred Fundament

Ours is an exceedingly simple faith. For us there is but The Sacred Fundament, or Foundation, of our Understanding of the Universe and Everything. (Which makes us, ex post facto, a truly fundamental religion.) Our Sacred Fundament is just this: The Only Way to approach Divinity is through a Same-Sex Mindset. We know that. (It's a fact. Like gravity and Popes wearing purple underthings during Lent.) And so, in consequence of that, it follows that we are holier than everyone else simply because of who and what we are.

Oh, yes, other faiths, lesser faiths, make a claim to an exclusive holiness, but the thing is they're just plain wrong. Being so much holier than everyone, of course, makes it very difficult to be angry with these silly little infidels - we are innately a pretty genial, live-and-let-live crowd - as Brother Saturnillus likes to say with an infectious little titter, "we don't get all het up about them, 'cause we ain't BORN that way."

Yes, well...

Ever wonder why there are so many of us in the hierarchies of other faiths? It's simple. We're born to the holiness thing. We do it without having to think about it, they have to learn how - and as students of Holiness, they're just not that gifted.

Loads and loads of really detailed and well-written research by lots of very smart people with impressive academic credentials shows IRREFUTABLY that "straight" folks aren't born with the Fabulous Gene. They can't help being what they are: damned, doomed and pretty darn dense. But of course, being so holy, we can't possibly hate them for who they are nor even, perhaps, for their quite un-original sin. We can, of course, and do get lathered up and Righteously Indignant when they insist on throwing it in our faces every opportunity they get. (They are so shameless at times.)

It is important that we give them the benefit of our wisdom whenever and wherever possible. And, occasionally, when they've gone and piddled on the carpet of public discourse, we need to roll up a figurative newspaper and rap them sharply on the snout. But always with love. Love, love, love. Much love. And good taste, of course. Love and good taste.

It's the essence of what we are.