Smells like School Spirit!

The Irreverend Dr. Liberty Hall, Rector & President of The College of Simple Divinity, and the venerable Board of Trustees of the same have taken considerable pains to impress upon us the vital necessity of directing your undivided attention to the Church's Official Temple of Commerce, SPIRITUALLYFABU. It is there we have been given to understand that you may acquire Officially Blessed & Fully Sanctified T-Shirts and such like emblazoned with the Great Seal of the College and that your purchases will help support the vitally important mission of the College. Namely to...

You know, we forget sometimes that there are those in our Congregation At Large who are unaware of the educational opportunities that come to them as perks of membership in The Church of the Simply Divine. We refer, of course, to the College of Simple Divinity. It is in those Hallowed Halls that one may polish one's Spiritual Fabulousity to the Nth Degree.

The College was founded in the early years of The Church to help expand our Members' universe in areas where the Church itself had limited resources. Oh, yes, the Church is absolutely invaluable in expanding our members' Fabulous Spirituality(TM) - but an unfortunate incident at a church service involving a horribly mismatched double-knit pantsuit impressed upon us how important it is to address and thereby expand our Members' Spiritual FabulousityTM) as well. It is true we are all born Fabulous - but, frankly, not all of us enter this world as Fabulous as befits our inherent potential. And so, the College was birthed.

Its Great Seal features The Sacred Conjunctio Ingeminata and the College Motto: "Sum, ergo Effulgeo" - "I am, therefore I glitter."

Other denominations have their own "captive" institutions of higher education. The Assemblies of God, of course, have theirs. The Westboro Baptist Church - much beloved and rightfully honored for their amazing fund- and consciousness-raising on behalf of LGBT rights - has one, as well.